When uncertainty is yours

It’s easy to tell someone else to stay open to uncertainty -

until the uncertainty is yours.

You teach curiosity.

You help teams stay open when the path isn’t clear.

You remind leaders that real curiosity builds trust.

But when your own life is unpredictable -

when your income, your stability, your next move are all in play -

control takes over.

You start rehearsing every possible question.

You reread job postings until the words blur.

You polish sentences that don’t need polishing.

You build spreadsheets, plans, contingency plans.

You tighten your grip and call it preparation.

It’s really self-protection.

None of this is bad.

It’s human.

Control is scared logic trying to keep you safe.

But somewhere between preparation and control,

you cross a line.

And on the other side,

you’re not more ready.

You’re just more exhausted.

So you start asking different questions.

What would it look like to prepare and stay open?

To do the work without white-knuckling the outcome?

To trust that readiness isn’t the same as control?

You don’t have the answer yet.

But you’re noticing the pattern.

You’re closing the laptop when the spiral starts.

You’re leaving space between thought and action.

You’re letting silence stretch a little longer than feels comfortable.

Maybe that’s what openness looks like today.